Recently I had the pleasure of speaking to one such person who, from afar, has greatly influenced my life. Born into a decently priveleged family, once her family dynamic changed as a teenager she began emotionally eating. At her mother's urges she began into martial arts and developed a philosophy of doing things with intention. Around 20, while working out at a gym someone asked if she was a trainer and because she thought it was easy money she ran with it, eventually owning her own sports medicine facility. Then wanting to expand her horizons she became an agent in Hollywood but when office politics took over, she retreated to her first love, personal training. As a personal trainer, she became known across America as "TV's Toughest Trainer." That should've been your biggest hint that I am talking about Jillian Michaels.
A couple years ago heartburn had turned into chest pains, angina, and a heart condition for me. I was told to alter my diet (give up caffeine), my lifestyle (stop working 3rd shift), and/ or lose over 50 lbs. Being a fan of the Biggest Loser, i adopted many of Jillian's hilosophies, even worked out to Ripped in 30. There is a lot of baggage that comes with losing a significant amount of weight. I lost over 70 lbs. Her latest book Unlimited has been a godsend. Her method of crosstraining and time effective training is what I base my own style of training on. Recently, I had the weekend from hell. On a Saturday morning, within 30 mins of leaving work I was suspended. I later found out that a supervisor (a family member) had filed a report saying that I abused an elderly patient and I would find out the results of the investigation in a few days. Basically meaning I had no chance to defend myself. Fine, I knew I would grow. 11pm that night I was woken up to news that my father was found dead. I was devastated. My way of dealing with things has always been to withdraw and move on , more or less to distract myself. The next day I was scheduled to take the personal trainer test. In hindsight I probably should not have taken it, but there was not enough notice to cancel it. Naturally, I failed it. I was distraught and unconsolable. Unsure how to process any of it, I wrote in the Jillian's weekly podcast. I figured that writing the email would be therapuetic. Little did I know that the next afternoon I would be in the car talking with a woman who had such a great influence on me!
It was so obvious I was a real fanboy calling. I even told her that I always imagined that if I got the chance to talk to her I would be asking questions about bulking or protein shakes or the dread ab question. Anyone who follows her knows that she is annoyed that everyone asks her how to get abs like hers, but she always maintains that abs are made in the kitchen! If you want better abs then lower your body fat percent! She reminded me about what a toxic environment the job was. And that my subconscious was already working on getting out of there. Its true. It was full of drama. Too much family in one spot. I preferred 3rd shift because I did not have to talk with anyone, but somehow the drama still reached me. Steve Jobs once said in a commencement speech that if you wake up too many mornings dreading work that you need to find another way to spend your time. This was the push necessary to propel myself into the fitness industry. We spent the bulk of our conversation talking about my father. Our relationship was not where I wanted it to be. I still do not know how but she picked out that the guilt of our relationship weighed heavily on my heart. She has many catchphrases that have helped me stayed motivated but none as powerful as when she said "Matt, guilt is a worthless emotion." Suddenly, "unless you puke, faint, or die keep going" had less of an impact! My father was on my mind. Its wrong to say that he was my road block, but I was trying to move past the moment. Whereas many people dwell on the past, I seemed to be dwelling on the future. I was trying to force myself past the grieving process. I told you I dealt best by distracting myself. It was obvious I did not know how to grieve. Its been nearly 3 weeks and I still do not know how to process it all. She told me to quit worrying about the right thing to do (the complete opposite of how I have lived the rest of my entire life) and to move on at my own pace. I have done what I can not to draw in, she encouraged me noting that my reaching out to her was a great sign that I was not going to just crawl into the fetus position and let life pass me by. Oddly enough, the personal trainer test is what we seemed to spend the last amount of time on. Which is funny to me, that's what I would have thought we'd spend most talking about. She told me that which everyone else around me was trying to tell me, "there's no way you would know what degree the hip flexors are push forward during an abdominal curl up." Its true, and though the cost is a concern (a huge concern) the test is easy to take again. She didn't say to, but the fact that she had not heard of the NCSF made me want to reeevaluate where my certification was coming from.
No comments:
Post a Comment