Why Write?

Six years ago I left graduated with a degree in Religion and Philosophy, with plans to go to Oral Roberts University. I was going to attain my Masters of Divinity, then pursue a PhD t a prestigious university in hopes to teach at the college level while writing books. Through these two mediums I was planning on “teaching the teachers.” I would help to prepare and nurture the shepherds across the country and the world as they led their congregations. Then, as it often does, life happened. How does it go? “Life is what happens while you are busy making plans.” A terrible divorce and guilt caused me to drop my desire to be an educator and instead tried for other things. 

I am, however, a firm believer that God instills our passions in us for a reason. In fact one of my favorite quotes (From Luther the movie) is when the experienced Father Staupitz tells a young misguided Martin Luther “we preach best what we need to learn most.” So, while talking with someone who was discouraged about not being on their desired career path I asked the question that I needed to ask myself. That question is simple, “why?” Why can’t you head back? Why can’t you make up for the lost time? Why can’t you use these experiences to help you in your pursuit? Then, after much prayer and conviction, I answered that question with, “alright - maybe I can!” I half heartedly checked it out and after the first way I saw it could be done, I noticed another door and then another opening! My “luck” (if you call it that- I prefer to call it God’s Provision) had not only changed but had been turned on its head! I had gained experience living life to its fullest, and struggling in ways no one ever should! I had fallen away from God and had returned. I had begun the Prodigal Son. My experiences gave me new perspective on the lessons I knew but had not felt. My intellectual mind was now faced with emotion. I saw myself turning into a different person. We do not always know God’s Plan but in hindsight, and here is proof. Rather than speak to a well educated audience, one where I knew what the education level of my readers, Now I would have a broader audience. I still tutored in Philosophy and many people still considered me the one they could ask about Bible and Church History. I had been blessed with Revelation. I was to use this spiritual gift and speak to the masses. I could easily answer the questions that people where afraid to ask, and I felt at ease and they reciprocated. People who said they were always afraid of being judged for asking questions said I explained it to them in a way that felt relatable. I was shocked, wasn’t I intended to have a more specific, limited audience? God said no. Church is the last place someone should feel judged and yet that fear of judgement kept people away. It was there, my mission.

My thesis was clear. Let the people know that God was in their corner. He was not seeking judgement but a relationship with them! I was able to tell them that the Law in its over 600 commandments was not a list of “break these rules and get spanked.” I felt charged with letting everyone know that the Law was rather God’s way of asking for a relationship with Him. He said, this is the goal and doing these things will strengthen our relationship. Just like a marriage, if you do things that counteract a productive relationship the chances for divorce are greater. Though it may not be written down, every relationship has an established code of conduct, do these things and we will become closer. Why should our relationship with God be any different? Traditions, internal, and external struggles have convoluted God’s love letter to us. I felt charged to lead the new generation of church leaders. This would stop the damaging cycle of poor religion being taught. One of my heaviest influences Dietrich Bonhoeffer called out his fellow members of the Confessing Church during NAZI era Germany made a serious case that we should not only not further a bad cycle, but that it was our responsibility to oppose such bad cycles. 

As I began to talk to more and more people, I found out that many people had similar questions. They had similar apprehensions. My knack for speaking on multiple levels would be best served not only in lecture and one on one but also  in writing to the masses. I would challenge the world to look deeper. “Thats what I was always taught” or “thats the way my church believes” would not cut it. Through history and philosophy I would write diatribes causing them to examine their own relationship with God. “The norm” was not important. I was learned, but while many of those with similar interests and educated felt the call to led congregations themselves, I felt the call to nurture them. Those in leadership (yes even church leadership) need someone in their corner. As do the laymen. God ignited the spark in me. Teach the teachers, write to the laymen. Use your gift to write in such a way that both will understand and get something out of it. Yes LORD, I accept your challenge.